Hiya! It’s me, Gunner Wilkes, taking over the blog tour today. First, thanks to Charlotte Howard for having us, it’s super cool!
I had the chance to interview Snake Vinter – space pirate/vampire/captain of The Frances – and he had some funny stories about Horatio. Hope you enjoy!
Gunner: You first met Horatio when you shared the same jail cell. Can you tell us about that?
Snake: First of all, I was in jail on trumped up charges. Indecent exposure. Listen, there is nothing indecent about my ass. My ass is not only decent, it’s spectacular. Anyway, I was sitting on my fine ass, reading a nudie mag the guard tossed my way, when a flash from above caught my attention. The next thing I knew, a rather bulky bloke was falling into my cell. At first, I thought one of my enemies sent him to murder me, so I hid behind the magazine for a bit. When he mentioned he was from New York City, I introduced myself.
Gunner: I can relate, I mean, he fell into my room, too.
Snake: Unfortunately for me, he was dressed when he arrived in mine. My first order of business was getting him undressed, however, which I accomplished after our daring jail break.
Gunner: When did you decide to make him part of the crew?
Snake: Right after I got his britches off. Can you blame me?
Gunner: Um, no. How did the rest of the crew take to Horatio’s arrival?
Snake: Sugar wasn’t happy, but the rest of the lads were appreciative. Have to say, Horatio’s first week as an official space pirate was a bit, how should I put it, rough around the edges.
Gunner: I want to hear this story!
Horatio: Snake, don’t you fucking dare…
Snake: He almost blew up the entire ship!
Horatio: THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
Gunner: Details, man. Gimme details.
Snake: It’s not just his guitar that makes things explode, his singing has a similar effect. So, his first morning on the ship, he sang in the shower and blew up a toilet. Once we had that mess cleaned up, I took him to the kitchen for breakfast, and when he saw the crew congregated there, he grabbed his crotch and started singing something about “It’s raining men”. Chaos ensued. All the lightbulbs and most of the portholes shattered. The kitchen sink projective vomited …
Horatio: First of all, “It’s Raining Men” is a kick ass song. Second of all, how da fuck was I supposed to know my voice would make things explode?
Snake: After the toilet incident, I expected you to be clued in.
Horatio: I sing when I’m happy. And horny. And pissed off. Basically, I sing all the time. Kind of a hard habit to break.
Gunner: *still laughing*
Snake: Well, then, I guess we’re all quite proud you’ve learned to rein that in.
Gunner: *wipes eyes* More.
Snake: Let me tell you about his first trip to the cockpit.
Horatio: No. Just no.
Snake: Right after I told him not to touch anything, he pushed the button that drops the anchor, which wouldn’t have been so bad if we weren’t docked on solid ground, right next to some pirate mates of mine. The anchor dropped straight through the hull of their ship and wiped out their entire pornographic art collection, which was a real shame.
Horatio: I did feel bad about that part. So many dick pics, gone. Oh, the humanity!
Gunner: You’re both screwing with me, aren’t you?
Snake: I wish we were, lad. I wish we were.
Gunner: If you would like to read more space pirating adventures, check out Oleander Plume’s new book, Horatio Slice, Guitar Slayer of the Universe. Here’s the official book blurb:
Horatio Slice is NOT dead.
Gunner Wilkes knows a secret. Heartthrob rock star Horatio Slice is not dead. Sure, Gunner may turn heads with his big brain, good looks, and gym-built body, but his mind is on one thing only: returning his all-time favorite rocker and secret fanboy crush to Earth.
Yes, there are VAMPIRE PIRATES
Fame and stardom were starting to wear thin for Horatio Slice, but when he was sucked through a magical portal while on stage at Madison Square Garden into a jail cell in a strange dimension called Merona, his confusion quickly cleared upon meeting his sexy, dark-haired cellmate, a vampire pirate named Snake Vinter, who filled Horatio in about life in the universe, jumping from dimension to dimension, and craftily avoiding the wrath of gnarly-mask-wearing leather queen King Meridian—a guy nobody wants to cross.
The metal ship is named Frances.
And on Snake’s metal ship live eight identical blond Humerians, who proudly display their cocks and assholes in carefully crafted trousers, as well as a wild assortment of untamable, cock-hungry travelers and stowaways. But someone has hacked into Frances’ mainframe, demanding that Snake and crew deliver Horatio Slice to King Meridian, or feel his wrath.
All the zany magical comedy of Mel Brooks, an adventure not dissimilar to Indiana Jones meets Barbarella, and men, men, horny men, of all shapes and sizes, Horatio Slice, Guitar Slayer of the Universe is wild, fun, pornographic fiction for anyone who loves the masculine, the feminine, and all identities in between. Even more so, it’s for cravers—for aficionados—of big, hard, pounding cock, and anyone who can handle laughs that won’t stop coming.
And now for a bunch of links:
Oleander’s blog: http://poisonpendirtymind.com
Go Deeper Press shopify: https://go-deeper-press.myshopify.com/products/horatio-slice-guitar-slayer-of-the-universe
Horatio on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35558974-horatio-slice
Check me out, I’m in a book trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-56xGmu27g
I think that’s everything. Thanks again to Charlotte for being part of the official Guitar Slayer tour. Rock on!
Love, Gunner Wilkes
Oleander Plume lives in Chicago, Illinois, with her husband, two daughters and a pair of obnoxious cats. While she writes in many genres, her favorite is m/m. Or m/m/m. Or m/m/m/m, or … who’s counting, anyway?
Horatio Slice: Guitar Slayer of the Universe (published by Go Deeper Press) is Oleander’s first, full-length novel, but her short stories have appeared in anthologies by Violet Blue, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Shane Allison, Alison Tyler, Neil Plakcy, and F. Leonora Solomon.
Oleander also edited a self-published erotic anthology, titled Chemical [se]X, featuring stories centered around the theme of aphrodisiac chocolates.
For more information, please visit her at poisonpendirtymind.com.